member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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