it wasn't lemon gatorade
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
