I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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