The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
