her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
