i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
