i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
