what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
