it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
