I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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