I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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