also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I've blown a few things in my day
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
