It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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