"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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