i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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