No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
