this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
