i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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