Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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