I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
