DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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