do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
