Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
