Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
