I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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