i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
