Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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