Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
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