and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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