then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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