did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
