Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i need some magic done to my vagina
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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