what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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