She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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