He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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