that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
