Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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