All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
