sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
