he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
