I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
