We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
