he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
