so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
