please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
