im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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