A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
