I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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