Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
