Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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