That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
