you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
