Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
